(This is typed when I was very tired so pardon any grammatical mistakes.)
This time, most of the papers we did were difficult. No kidding. Even for subjects that I'm usually good in, I didn't do well either. (And so did nearly everyone else, by the way.) I didn't expect myself to do well when I already met with many difficulties while doing the papers, but I didn't expect to do that badly either... You really wanna know? Well, I failed quite a bit of subjects.
Of course no matter how much I expected myself to do badly, I still would have had some expectation of my grades... So when I got back the papers today I still had a shock when I saw some of my marks... If I'm to be using 'cheem' terms that are usually seen in essays, I would've wrote 'disappointment and sadness coursed through me, despite the fact that I had expected not to do well'. Definitely the worst results I've ever had... And no, I'm not exaggerating.
All I can say is that I can only depend on my overall marks to pull most of my subjects' marks up... Thank goodness there's still the 'overall' marks. If the year-end results really only count the year-end exams results, I think most of us are killed. Still, I would of course still wish that I had done better than how I did.
All that aside, I feel... What's the word? Guilty? Anyway I feel somewhat guilty to my parents, like I've let them down because I didn't do well. I really hate to see that disappointed and sad look on their faces when I don't do well. Yes, one of my motivations to do well is because I don't want to disappoint my parents... Yet it seems that it's what I've been doing recently.
Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning in a body of water. Fighting to reach the surface, but yet the more you struggle, the deeper you go. Like the more I try to do well, the worse I do... Why is this so? If I let go, will I float to the top? Or will I sink even more?
Sigh... I'm feeling really confused right now. I don't know what to do anymore...
.// &&CALZ
P.S. Please help to trend #RIPYueYue if you have a Twitter account. It may not be much, but the world ought to know about the poor little girl who died in such a cruel way.
P.P.S. Going to update this blog on some of the more major events that happened recently soon.
P.P.P.S. Please also click my nuffnang ads on the side? Just click that's all, thank you! ^^
