Saturday, January 06, 2007

A new year, a new beginning..

I know it's not exactly a new year now, but it's still the first days of 2007. But anyway, my resolution for this year would be that I get better results in class and that my relationship with my friends(the more distant ones) would be better. Of course, I hope to maintain my friendship with my close friends at the same time.

This year, everything seems to be different. Certainly, my friends hadn't changed that much, but everyone changes. I do believe everyone (well, maybe not everyone, 'cos I think some of my friends are still the same,but only some)underwent changes in the holidays last year. For instance, Shirley didn't like her top number one fave books. Her taste certainly changes.(Well, actually Shirley changes her taste often. Just that she changes her taste of things are mostly she hadn't changed yet. What I mean is that if she changes her taste of music, it's likely that Shirley wouldn't change it anytime soon.) And my close friend Xanthe was like, more.. just different. Without me by her side, Xanthe seems like.... I don't know. Perhaps Xanthe hadn't changed. Maybe it was my own imagination. But then again, when I think about the time when Minnie(my best friend) asked her to come to her party, Xanthe only casually shrugged and said she'd ask. I think if we're eight-year-olds now, I'd bet she would have said," Sure! Of course I'll come!"

Maybe it's me. I hadn't called her for two years, even though we see each other in school. Maybe she'd thought I had been so busy making new friends, I'd forgotten about her. The truth is, I had forgotten about her. Sometimes I do remember her and have this impulse to call her, but even if I called her, what would I say? Now as I think about it, I realized that I don't have to have a reason for calling her. I could just say,"Hiya Xanthe, how are you? Hadn't been talking to u on the phone for a long time! Are you free? Maybe we chat on the phone!" Then if it all works out, we could have a nice long chat.

But what if she refuses? What would I do? Is it too late to rewind history so that after we separated, we still call each other sometimes? Is it too late to savage our friendship?