Probably the last post before Os.

So this post is for yesterday, today and tomorrow - not exactly literally. For lack of a better explanation, let's just move on to the content itself.

Yesterday

By yesterday I meant the September holidays that just passed. I confess to not doing much studying during the period, since I took it as the last real break I'll have before O levels come. I took the time to do some of the stuff I'd wanted to do but never got the time to, like making a keychain for myself. Perhaps some would feel like I wasted my time, but I don't think so - it was sort of like food for my soul. Now it's time to feed my brain with information again, information that will help me pass my O levels (hopefully with flying colours).

Today

Today's the first day of school of Term 4... How time flies. It really feels like yesterday when it was the first day of Secondary 4 for me, and now 3/4 of the year's gone already. Of course it's scary that O levels is only 6 weeks away, but rather than panicking, time would be better spent (and more fruitfully) studying, right?

Basically today we started to get back our prelim papers. I can't say I did very well among the papers that were given back today, but I did expect the marks for Physics. I felt like I've let down Mr Ng again (and I know I'm saying this again) but truthfully, Physics just isn't my cup of tea. Maybe I sound like I'm giving excuses, and I do intend to work as hard as I can for O levels - it's the least I can do for a teacher who has given us so much. However, sometimes I do wonder just what kind of grades I can get for Physics since I truly suck at that subject...

Tomorrow

Here I'm referring to both tomorrow - literally, and the near future. Tomorrow's yet another day where we get back our papers, and I'm honestly not looking forward to it. Still, what has to come will come. At least I'm confident there are no other subjects I can do as badly as Physics, so it's a small consolation in itself...?

For O levels, well... All I can say is that I'll study real hard and give my best efforts during the exam. Honestly, I'm aiming towards going to Victoria. Whether I can get there or not will depend on my grades of course, and I'm definitely going to try my very best to get into the school of my dreams (or at least make myself eligible for as many schools as possible).

After O levels: yes I've already planned for them. I suppose this would help me in studying, that whatever I want to do awaits me after O levels. I'm planning to get a part-time job. What I'm doing has yet to be decided. I suppose it'll depend... And I'm also planning to see if I can study Korean during the long break. I've always wanted to study a third language but didn't have the opportunity, so that's what I'm going to do (if possible). Let's also not forget the outings with friends and all... I think it's suffice to say I'll be real busy during the break.

As the saying goes, "yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift - that's why it's called the present", every day is a gift of time to use for studying before O levels. So let's seize the present (because no time's better than the present) and give it our best before the Big Exam (of now)!

.// &&CALZ

A day worth remembering... In a bad way

So I'm sorry for not posting for some time... Time just flies so quickly especially with the impending Os. Honestly if today hadn't happened I might not have posted. But yes, here I am, even abandoning my homework for this. Some things are more important.

First off, today was rather a horrible day at school already... What with 2 tests and the Chemistry O level SPA. Here's my verdict.

Chemistry topical test - not very difficult but since I didn't study, I must have done badly. Great. Miss Yep is... Let's just say I don't wanna get on her bad side, but looks like I already did.

Maths test - 3 words: screw that shit. Too little time to do the paper. It was a paper that with that kind of thinking involved, we should have at least 1h 15 min to do. I think many people will die for the paper. In addition, the marks awarded are shit... Doing so many steps just to get ONE FREAKING MARK. It's totally not worth it at all and a waste of time. Seriously, how on earth was that paper set?!

Chemistry SPA - again not difficult, but I wonder if I'll get marks deducted for not having used excess sodium hydroxide. :/

But all these were just the side dishes leading up to the main event...

So me, Weilin and Kimberly were on the bus, going for our dinner. The bus was packed like sardines (like Circle line during peak hour) and there wasn't any space. Then this 60yo guy came on... And he stood super close to us. At first we didn't take notice of it because like I said, the bus was packed. It wasn't until the guy was in front of me (and had his hand behind him for who knows what reason) that I realised his hand was placed in an inappropriate position. I didn't think it was anything until I realised he had space in front and had no reason to put his bag (and his hand was on top of his bag) behind him. I got suspicious and moved as far back as I could (and my back was to the side of the bus already). When we alighted we talked to each other... AND THEN WE REALISED HE TOUCHED ALL OF US. EWWWWWWW. Disgusting bastard!

Okay, I'm sorry for the language but YOU CANNOT EXPECT ME TO REMAIN CALM AFTER THIS. What I do regret though, is not having done anything. True, he didn't grab me or anything but still it is sexual harassment in a way, right? Now he's on the loose and who knows who might be his next prey (and the countless girls before him). I'm truly sorry for it. Although I can definitely promise that if I ever meet him again, I'll definitely do something about it. He deserves that much. Everybody deserves that much because nobody deserves to have this happen to them. I'm not self-bragging or what, I'm talking in the context of my friends who were involved as well. It was a disgusting, immoral act done purely for the perversion of one at the expense of others.

While I'm not scarred for life or anything, I know this is something I'm unlikely to forget. I found myself being alert, jumping at any sound while going home. I'm not scared or anything but I certainly don't want history to repeat itself. Once is one too many times. I think in the near future my life would be affected a little.

I'm gonna end off this with a message: BE CAREFUL. Even if Singapore's crime rate is low (and how ironic it is that we were discussing Singapore's low crime rate in class today when this happened) one cannot be too confidant or trusting. It's always good to be cautious. As the Chinese say, 防人之心不可无 (one cannot lack cautiousness around others). It does pay to be more alert. And to that bastard: you better watch out. Don't let me see you again or there will be hell to pay. I guarantee.

I thought it was supposed to be Thursday the 12th, not Friday the 13th. And yet it feels like it got brought forward a day earlier.

.// &&CALZ

P.S. Will add more features to my blog later - I'm gonna bring back as much as I can from my previous blog template.

once in 4 years

I'm sure everyone knows what date today is: February 29, a day with a date that only comes by once in 4 years. (For Andersonians, we'll probably know today as a day where we have to submit our homework for it to be counted towards our marks in CA1. LOL :P)

I'm not sure about how everyone spends this day (probably working as usual) but for me, it seems as though this day often occurs in years where there are the 'big obstacles'. This year, I'm facing my Os; and I had my PSLE 4 years ago. Heh, I was born in the leap year as well. But nobody has time to celebrate this special day since we're all too busy with our school work or work (for adults) and whatnot... Although I wish someday I'll have the chance to enjoy this special day.

Anyway, in (somewhat) related news, Big Bang has their comeback today! ^^ I'm glad they did since today is a special day. In terms of their music, I actually haven't heard most of the full songs since I was busy with my school work :/ but from the ones I've heard, I find that the lyrics for (probably only some of) their songs have matured as compared to their older songs. I'm not saying that their old songs weren't mature but this new album has lyrics that have a contemplative, reflective tone to them, like they were reflecting about the past year's events and putting them down into lyrics. And yet, there's hope as well, hope that things can get better soon. Nonetheless it also can be seen and heard that they've grown stronger with the obstacles they face; guess adversities do make one stronger. Here's to wishing things will be more smooth-sailing from here.

I've also just finished an interesting book titled Matched by Ally Condie. It's set in a futuristic world where the world has become a totalitarian society, with its citizens governed by the Society, which dictates what they eat, what they wear, what they do, and even who they marry and when they die. Some say it's like a modern version of Lois Lowry's The Giver; although I haven't read The Giver yet but from the book summary I read of it, they both have the same theme of totalitarian society. The main thing that I learned from this book is the importance of free will. Like the popular saying "you never treasure anything until you've lost it", it's through this book and the lack of free will for the characters that made me realize that free will is a powerful gift. I'm not sure where I read this quote, (probably from the House of Night series) but it reflects what this book is about as well: "The greatest gift I can give my children is free will."

In terms of reading pleasure, I would say with a little bit of interpretation at some parts of the story, it would be a highly pleasing read. There are several innuendos and hidden meanings that make you realize the author's cleverness at incorporating them into the story; like the comparison between the Officials (the ones who make, implement and carry out laws) and the rest of the working citizens by using the colour of the clothes they wear (which are regulated by the Society) - white for the Officials and blue for the other working citizens. White-collared and blue-collared workers, anyone? :)

This has to be one of the more interesting fiction that I've read; I'm really glad I happened across the book one day :D and although I sound like I just did a book review for school, it's really because I enjoyed it so much I wanted to share the book with everyone. (And anyway what I've said is so little of what the book is about I totally didn't do justice for it.) Can't wait for the rest of the trilogy to be out. XD

.// &&CALZ

P.S. I really want to read The Hunger Games. I've read reviews, summaries and even fanfiction on the trilogy and it sounds so interesting. But it's hard to get the books and they're so expensive :(

P.P.S. Anyone up for watching The Hunger Games movie with me when it comes out in March? ^^

Sweet sixteen.

Finally, the long-awaited day is here. My sweet sixteen. :D

This is probably one of my least celebrated birthdays so far; an irony considering it's one of the biggest birthdays in a youth's life. Oh well, it doesn't really matter anyway; it's the sincerity of the well-wishers that matter. It's not about the multitude of gifts received but the love and care behind it. And even so it's not about the gifts either; as the saying goes, 'it's the thought that counts'. Just a simple, sincere wish of 'Happy Birthday' is enough to replace any noncommited birthday gifts. (That being said, it doesn't exclude you from giving me one, even if it's a darn simple one or a virtual one! :P)

It may be a quiet affair this year but it's meaningful in its own way as well. For starters (and perhaps the most important) my dad and mum were actually able to celebrate it with me. Now this may not seem much, but when I was growing up I rarely got to spend my birthdays with my mum, so this matters to me a lot. (Yes, despite my grouches about my mum I still love her.) And I got a whole lot of well-wishers from jies and kors to close friends to juniors to not-so-close friends as well (my facebook wall is flooded...). I feel so loved. :)

And well, I guess a TINY part of why I'm so hyped about my birthday this time round is because my day falls on Big Bang's 2000th day since their debut as well. And Se7en's releasing his Somebody Else (Korean ver) MV as well. It's a special day for me, my favourite group and a singer I really support. I feel so... Lucky? (pun intended) Honoured? Definitely. And generally awesome as well haha!

It is today as well that I realise I'm really fortunate. To be living somewhere where your birthday is a cause of celebration amongst your loved ones, to be even able to celebrate your birthday, is a blessing in its own. I do count my blessings regularly; and believe me I feel plenty blessed. I want to reciprocate it back. :)

That's about it! My birthday blog post. A post of significant value (well most of my posts should be of significance anyway), to commemorate my special day. :)

.// &&CALZ;

2012. Not the movie, but the year. And reflections.

Tangent: my first post in 2012. :D happy belated new year, everyone! Oh, and if you see any nuffnang ads on the sidebar to the right, please just spend a couple of seconds clicking on them and let me earn some $$$. Thanks! :D

This post is mainly about reflections. Basically, I'm reflecting over this past year, the events and my choices.

This year is probably a year of change. And I mean that in many varying degrees. Sure, the obvious one is the transition from secondary two to three. That was pretty jarring, to be honest. It's like a repetition of from p6 to sec 1. Once again, I'm in a class and none of my friends (or should I say, close friends) are with me. To say it was hard to adjust would've been an understatement. I'm not very good at getting to know people and befriending others, so it was pretty awkward at first. It wasn't until term 3 that I actually got to know Weilin and formed strong friendships with my classmates. But before that, it was a period of transition.

Other changes also included the increase in the amount of homework. I found myself working later and later into the night just to finish my homework, so quite often I couldn't focus in class since I was too tired. It took me a long time to get used to the workload and sleeping late at night.

And of course Twitter changed my life as well. I wouldn't say for the better or worse, but it did changed my life. And taught me quite a number of things that would be invaluable to me in the future.

I guess I underwent a personality change as well. It's not something that took place just last year; rather I like to think that I've been slowly changing since sec 1. But the catalyst would definitely have been last year. Again, while it's hard to determine whether it's for better or worse, I do think that in some ways it was for the worse. But personality is not something that is easily changeable; I can't change myself back to how I was just because I wanted to.

Still, I hope that this year will be different than the last year. Of course, like everyone else, I would want to obtain good results in the O levels, but at the same time I should strive to be a better person (?) like maybe donating money to the needy, etc. So like a few other years, I'll write some new year resolutions here.

- To obtain good results (preferably single digit of course) in the O levels (DUH!)

- To maintain friendships with the people I know (like my ANDSS friends)

- To improve my skills in piano, and hopefully be able to post up some covers

- To improve relationships with my loved ones

- To spare more thought for the needy people.

- To achieve whatever else I had been planning to achieve all along but never quite did so.

And while writing down all these reflections I decided to reflect upon the various relationships I've built with the people I know. It's in the form of chronological order, so even if you're at the back it doesn't mean I love you any less. :)

To my parents: you're the most awesomest people I know, who put up with my shit more often than necessary. Seriously, I love you no matter what!

To my jies and kors: It is with your guidance that I can learn so much. My life would've been so different if I hadn't met you all! Thanks for being there for me~

To DM: I'm glad to say that our friendship has survived the test of time. While we may not talk to each other as much as before, but we did manage to maintain our friendship, and you're still someone I can talk to for almost everything. Also, thanks for being there for me :) and may we remain friends forever. Who knows, we might end up together in the same school after Os! Love you (okay, you may bash me for my mushiness)~

To XQ: I know you'll probably never see this, but still I must write this down. Maybe someday I'll regret the way we said goodbye, but one thing I'll never regret is meeting you and being your friend. We shared lots of memories together, having lots of fun together. Believe it or not, your friendship is still one of my most treasured. All I'm wishing is that someday, our paths may intersect again.

To QP, SH, and CP: Throughout primary school I've met many people, most of whom come and go. However, you gals are the ones who stayed, and I'm definitely glad you did. You three are awesome, and I'm so glad I got to meet you. Let's work hard together for Os and get into the same school, okay? :) Love you three!

To E, SM, and CN: (LOL I realise the initials are kinda funny. No offense to the ones mentioned!) Again, I wish that the things between us could have ended on a better note. E, you're a terrific friend and I really wish we're still close enough to chat regularly. SM, well, I know you still regard me as a friend even though our friendship is slightly... strained. Maybe if we'd all sat down together to talk about it over things could have ended differently, and in a better way. CN, despite seeing you regularly it feels as though we were never friends. Our relationship now is that of strangers. How did we get to that stage? Remember when we used to be book lovers? The answer is probably because as time passes, people change. You changed, I changed too. I miss the friendship we once shared. :(

(Tangent: put your hands up if you noticed the funny thing about initials. Or if you noticed the song titles I used in the previous paragraph.)

To M, YD, J and KY: I MISS YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY. Okay, maybe that was a little extreme. Anyway, I never thought I'll form such deep friendships in my last year. But still, I did, and I never regret meeting any of you. I just wish that M and KY opted to come Anderson so we could have been in the same school, but oh well. YD, I wish we kept in touch. Damn you for not doing that. (Well not really, but you do deserve a good bashing!) And J, it's nice to see you're still the same person I know (maybe some things have changed, but overall I feel you're still the same). I hope we get to meet again someday :)

To J, ML, WY, N and SC: The five people who changed my life here. And yes, in a good way. YOU GALS, I LOVE YOU TOO. It's you who made me feel like I belong in ANDSS, so thank you for that. I know that even after many years down the road, I'll definitely remind you all and you'll have a special significance in my heart. Anyway, I think we have a shot at getting into the same JC, haha :P Friends forever? :)

To A, I, and SR: Awesome seniors of mine, thanks for welcoming me in your own ways into Cyber. I miss the classical (okay, mostly piano) talks I had with A (as well as complaints, haha), the wittiness of I and SR, and the guidance of I (though you probably don't know about it) when the other two have left. This is why I love seniors (not all, just a select few). :)

To WQ and P: In terms of juniors, you two are the ones I'm closest to. I love WQ's wit and general awesomeness (though, can you please try to bash kpop less? I know we're all entitled to our own opinions, but just don't bash it so much in front of me lol), and P's understanding manner. And well, I just wanted to add this for fun: I'll probably miss R's hyperness as well, haha! At least, the Energizer Bunny should be able to keep things lively :)

To D: A big thank you to you, for always supporting me, listening to my rants and giving me advice whenever you can. You really feel like a jiejie to me, haha! Sorry for not communicating much to you recently, I'll do my best to remedy that! And really, you've helped me through my problems and stood by me. For that, I really really thank you and love you for doing it. Never ever regretted knowing you!

To HY, S, A, V, C and the rest of SYF: (NOT SINGAPORE YOUTH FESTIVAL.) Similarly, I really wish things had ended differently. I know some of you still keep in contact with one another, but not all of us interact with one another as much as before. I admit that I was partially at fault as well. Things are now somewhat strained, although I guess at least we can still somewhat talk to each other, so it's a breakthrough...? But no matter what, I did mean what I said in that reflection that we all did (at least I think we all did). You all did help me through one of my more difficult parts in my life, and have impacted my life in your own way. I don't regret meeting you all, but things could have ended much better than they did. But who knows, maybe someday we'll meet again and have a second shot at remedying everything. (There's only so much you can do online. Only by meeting face to face will this finally be resolved, because I don't think we really resolved anything in the end.)

To WL, A and T: (lol if you put the initials together it's almost a word of sorts) I love you gals too. It is you three that made me so happy in this class. WL, I'm not sure you know how... What is that word? Saying how much you mean to me sounds kinda weird lol. But seriously, if we both work together, I know we can be friends for a long long time. Not sure if you ever noticed but sometimes we're so alike in thinking we can be each other's soulmates or something. We may have our own friends, but I regard you as one of my closest friends as well. To A and T, do you realise how cute, funny and awesome you are? Being with you two is never boring. Please please, stay in SG after Os so we can still meet each other!

And last but not least, to the people who've been supporting me all along but I haven't paid much attention to you (sorry!!!), like K, L and M (LOL alphabetical order HAHAHA), yes, I do notice your care and concern for me! I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend to you since I'm too caught up in my own troubles, but from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. It's people like you that make me realise I have friends who're constantly supporting me, even if I don't pay much attention to them or (guilty!) been neglecting them. Seriously, I don't deserve you guys. But I'll never ever regret meeting you, because you all remind me to look closer at those around me, and I'll realise that I've never been alone at all. THANK YOU.

So that's about it... If you happen along my blog and think that I haven't mentioned you, it's not that I've forgotten about you, but I'm mentioning those that I'm really close with or have impacted my life in a big way. And wow, this is such a long and meaningful post... Though I apologise for the mushiness of it, but I think it's warranted. Anyway, have a good year ahead! Thanks for reading~

.// &&CALZ

P.S. I'm thinking of switching to wordpress. Not sure if my posts here can still be retained over there, if not I'll still keep this blog. I just think that wordpress is better in terms of functionality and all. But I'm still thinking about it, and I haven't reached a conclusion yet. Don't worry though, I'll let you all know if I do switch over. :)