This post is mainly about reflections. Basically, I'm reflecting over this past year, the events and my choices.
This year is probably a year of change. And I mean that in many varying degrees. Sure, the obvious one is the transition from secondary two to three. That was pretty jarring, to be honest. It's like a repetition of from p6 to sec 1. Once again, I'm in a class and none of my friends (or should I say, close friends) are with me. To say it was hard to adjust would've been an understatement. I'm not very good at getting to know people and befriending others, so it was pretty awkward at first. It wasn't until term 3 that I actually got to know Weilin and formed strong friendships with my classmates. But before that, it was a period of transition.
Other changes also included the increase in the amount of homework. I found myself working later and later into the night just to finish my homework, so quite often I couldn't focus in class since I was too tired. It took me a long time to get used to the workload and sleeping late at night.
And of course Twitter changed my life as well. I wouldn't say for the better or worse, but it did changed my life. And taught me quite a number of things that would be invaluable to me in the future.
I guess I underwent a personality change as well. It's not something that took place just last year; rather I like to think that I've been slowly changing since sec 1. But the catalyst would definitely have been last year. Again, while it's hard to determine whether it's for better or worse, I do think that in some ways it was for the worse. But personality is not something that is easily changeable; I can't change myself back to how I was just because I wanted to.
Still, I hope that this year will be different than the last year. Of course, like everyone else, I would want to obtain good results in the O levels, but at the same time I should strive to be a better person (?) like maybe donating money to the needy, etc. So like a few other years, I'll write some new year resolutions here.
- To obtain good results (preferably single digit of course) in the O levels (DUH!)
- To maintain friendships with the people I know (like my ANDSS friends)
- To improve my skills in piano, and hopefully be able to post up some covers
- To improve relationships with my loved ones
- To spare more thought for the needy people.
- To achieve whatever else I had been planning to achieve all along but never quite did so.
And while writing down all these reflections I decided to reflect upon the various relationships I've built with the people I know. It's in the form of chronological order, so even if you're at the back it doesn't mean I love you any less. :)
To my parents: you're the most awesomest people I know, who put up with my shit more often than necessary. Seriously, I love you no matter what!
To my jies and kors: It is with your guidance that I can learn so much. My life would've been so different if I hadn't met you all! Thanks for being there for me~
To DM: I'm glad to say that our friendship has survived the test of time. While we may not talk to each other as much as before, but we did manage to maintain our friendship, and you're still someone I can talk to for almost everything. Also, thanks for being there for me :) and may we remain friends forever. Who knows, we might end up together in the same school after Os! Love you (okay, you may bash me for my mushiness)~
To XQ: I know you'll probably never see this, but still I must write this down. Maybe someday I'll regret the way we said goodbye, but one thing I'll never regret is meeting you and being your friend. We shared lots of memories together, having lots of fun together. Believe it or not, your friendship is still one of my most treasured. All I'm wishing is that someday, our paths may intersect again.
To QP, SH, and CP: Throughout primary school I've met many people, most of whom come and go. However, you gals are the ones who stayed, and I'm definitely glad you did. You three are awesome, and I'm so glad I got to meet you. Let's work hard together for Os and get into the same school, okay? :) Love you three!
To E, SM, and CN: (LOL I realise the initials are kinda funny. No offense to the ones mentioned!) Again, I wish that the things between us could have ended on a better note. E, you're a terrific friend and I really wish we're still close enough to chat regularly. SM, well, I know you still regard me as a friend even though our friendship is slightly... strained. Maybe if we'd all sat down together to talk about it over things could have ended differently, and in a better way. CN, despite seeing you regularly it feels as though we were never friends. Our relationship now is that of strangers. How did we get to that stage? Remember when we used to be book lovers? The answer is probably because as time passes, people change. You changed, I changed too. I miss the friendship we once shared. :(
(Tangent: put your hands up if you noticed the funny thing about initials. Or if you noticed the song titles I used in the previous paragraph.)
To M, YD, J and KY: I MISS YOU GUYS. SERIOUSLY. Okay, maybe that was a little extreme. Anyway, I never thought I'll form such deep friendships in my last year. But still, I did, and I never regret meeting any of you. I just wish that M and KY opted to come Anderson so we could have been in the same school, but oh well. YD, I wish we kept in touch. Damn you for not doing that. (Well not really, but you do deserve a good bashing!) And J, it's nice to see you're still the same person I know (maybe some things have changed, but overall I feel you're still the same). I hope we get to meet again someday :)
To J, ML, WY, N and SC: The five people who changed my life here. And yes, in a good way. YOU GALS, I LOVE YOU TOO. It's you who made me feel like I belong in ANDSS, so thank you for that. I know that even after many years down the road, I'll definitely remind you all and you'll have a special significance in my heart. Anyway, I think we have a shot at getting into the same JC, haha :P Friends forever? :)
To A, I, and SR: Awesome seniors of mine, thanks for welcoming me in your own ways into Cyber. I miss the classical (okay, mostly piano) talks I had with A (as well as complaints, haha), the wittiness of I and SR, and the guidance of I (though you probably don't know about it) when the other two have left. This is why I love seniors (not all, just a select few). :)
To WQ and P: In terms of juniors, you two are the ones I'm closest to. I love WQ's wit and general awesomeness (though, can you please try to bash kpop less? I know we're all entitled to our own opinions, but just don't bash it so much in front of me lol), and P's understanding manner. And well, I just wanted to add this for fun: I'll probably miss R's hyperness as well, haha! At least, the Energizer Bunny should be able to keep things lively :)
To D: A big thank you to you, for always supporting me, listening to my rants and giving me advice whenever you can. You really feel like a jiejie to me, haha! Sorry for not communicating much to you recently, I'll do my best to remedy that! And really, you've helped me through my problems and stood by me. For that, I really really thank you and love you for doing it. Never ever regretted knowing you!
To HY, S, A, V, C and the rest of SYF: (NOT SINGAPORE YOUTH FESTIVAL.) Similarly, I really wish things had ended differently. I know some of you still keep in contact with one another, but not all of us interact with one another as much as before. I admit that I was partially at fault as well. Things are now somewhat strained, although I guess at least we can still somewhat talk to each other, so it's a breakthrough...? But no matter what, I did mean what I said in that reflection that we all did (at least I think we all did). You all did help me through one of my more difficult parts in my life, and have impacted my life in your own way. I don't regret meeting you all, but things could have ended much better than they did. But who knows, maybe someday we'll meet again and have a second shot at remedying everything. (There's only so much you can do online. Only by meeting face to face will this finally be resolved, because I don't think we really resolved anything in the end.)
To WL, A and T: (lol if you put the initials together it's almost a word of sorts) I love you gals too. It is you three that made me so happy in this class. WL, I'm not sure you know how... What is that word? Saying how much you mean to me sounds kinda weird lol. But seriously, if we both work together, I know we can be friends for a long long time. Not sure if you ever noticed but sometimes we're so alike in thinking we can be each other's soulmates or something. We may have our own friends, but I regard you as one of my closest friends as well. To A and T, do you realise how cute, funny and awesome you are? Being with you two is never boring. Please please, stay in SG after Os so we can still meet each other!
And last but not least, to the people who've been supporting me all along but I haven't paid much attention to you (sorry!!!), like K, L and M (LOL alphabetical order HAHAHA), yes, I do notice your care and concern for me! I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend to you since I'm too caught up in my own troubles, but from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. It's people like you that make me realise I have friends who're constantly supporting me, even if I don't pay much attention to them or (guilty!) been neglecting them. Seriously, I don't deserve you guys. But I'll never ever regret meeting you, because you all remind me to look closer at those around me, and I'll realise that I've never been alone at all. THANK YOU.
So that's about it... If you happen along my blog and think that I haven't mentioned you, it's not that I've forgotten about you, but I'm mentioning those that I'm really close with or have impacted my life in a big way. And wow, this is such a long and meaningful post... Though I apologise for the mushiness of it, but I think it's warranted. Anyway, have a good year ahead! Thanks for reading~
.// &&CALZ
P.S. I'm thinking of switching to wordpress. Not sure if my posts here can still be retained over there, if not I'll still keep this blog. I just think that wordpress is better in terms of functionality and all. But I'm still thinking about it, and I haven't reached a conclusion yet. Don't worry though, I'll let you all know if I do switch over. :)
